Saturday, January 07, 2017

Feliz Año Nuevo

Another year down. It's about time.

There's really no reason to recall the events of the past 12 months because, honestly, who the hell wants to go through THAT again? Since we continue to categorize and rate our lives in blocks of time (for what-convenience sake?), we can all pretty much agree on one basic fact while disagreeing on everything thing else in the known and unknown universe:

2016 sucked ass.

We lost a lot last year, not just people, celebrities, notable or otherwise, but parts of ourselves as well. When the MAIN EVENT of November, that shit show known as the Presidential election finally came to pass, the end result was despair for the defeated and barely a hoo-ray for the victors. It was a bloody, brutal battle that summed up the entire year in a microcosm and left us everyone, involved or not, more shell-shocked that we'll ever be able to admit. But there won't be any chance to heal because time marches on, and that, my friends, is the natural fact.

It wasn't all mud-slinging and brickbats. Unfortunately, the bad outweighed the good in 2016 cuz what bleeds, leads and it so much easier to dwell on the worst of humanity, to revel in the pain because maybe, just maybe when we are exposed to an endless barrage of it, we'll be tough enough so that it won't bother us any longer. We won't be able to feel a thing. Remembering the good things of  your life and the world around us might actually be your Achilles heel.

That may be the stupidest bullshit you read this year, but I doubt it. Hey, I just saw this "breaking news headline":


Need I add that this is a perfect example of fake news? I do? O Madre de Mios. Ignorance begets even more ignorance as Mike Judge's film IDIOCRACY looks more and more like a documentary. Maybe a few guillotines aren't such a bad idea. Many of you aren't using your heads anyway.

If nothing else, this 12 month pummeling should serve as a wake-up call to everybody everywhere. Pay attention, people. Those of you who lost your shit over the election results were probably half-asleep to begin with and are too goddamn cranky when you open your eyes for the first time. What did you think was going to happen? You have to be the dumbest ass in the entire free world if you thought-or still fucking believe-that the popular vote means anything. It doesn't. You losers underestimated the winner of everything since he begin his goose-step to the White House.

And as for the other side, to the victors go the spoils. You should know it since you spoiled it. For Christmas, I ordered the Basket of Deplorables from Harry and David-some rotten apples and a bunch of nuts. (Second time I used this joke. Gonna do it til I get it right.)  I was worried about what you yahoos might do if Trump lost, what retaliation might occur. I should have been more concerned about what you Insane Clown Posses would do when he he won. Don't think you're going to get away with what you think you might do going forward. This is where the battle lines will be drawn. Civil War II, anybody?

For those who are not part of this angry mob, I hope for all our sake you made the right decision because it is one we will have to live with for the next four years. (Donaldo's not going to be a two-termer. He will get bored. You'll see.) Congratulations on your victory  If you ever get over your hatred of Obama, Hillary and the rest of the opposing side, I hope you'll keep a close eye on your POTUS. Try to recall the doubts you had going into this. You need to wake the fuck up too. To get along, what say we keep an eye on extremists on all fronts. You keep your wackos in check, we'll keep our nut jobs in line as well. Couldn't hurt, which is probably the most positive suggestion of the day.

Now it's 2017. Feel any different? I didn't think so. Time is relative. In this case, it's that creepy drunken uncle who's all pervy hands when it's time to go to bed.

Pleasant dreams, America.

Happy New Year.




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