Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Year of the Sap

The first epic blockbuster of the cinema....
THE BIRTH OF A NATION, D.W. GRIFFITH'S's 1915 saga of 19th century America during the Civil War and the Reconstruction. with historical events such as the assassination of President Lincoln and the birth of the Ku Klux Klan.
Starring
Lillian Gish...
Mae Marsh
Wallace Reid
Donald Crisp
and
Raoul Walsh
as John Wilkes Booth.
An amazing film...
with an amazing cast!
BUT...

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE TODAY!

The racist fucks.








And this film is 100 years old. It wasn't nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars either. So take that, SELMA. There weren't any Academy Awards back then, but that's beside the point. Or is it?

Speaking of which, here are my obligatory Oscar predictions for this year: BOYHOOD, Michael Keaton, Julianne Moore, J.K. Simmons, Patricia Arquette and Richard Linklater. And we'll all be officially sick of Neil Patrick Harris by the end of the show.
                                               
                                                        BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Three things I don't want to see in 2015:
1. Vomiting on camera in a film or TV show.
2. LEGOs
3. Anything about the bass
                                                              THAT'S NOT ALL!

Why is that whoever is proclaimed "the worst President ever" is always re-elected? This may have always been the case, but in recent memory, this label has been given to the last three men that held the title of POTUS: Bubba, GW and Bam. All three received two terms. Curious, isn't it? Or...is it?

                                                        AND IF YOU CALL NOW...

It's the Chinese New Year and apparently this is the Year of the Sheep. Unfortunately in America,  it's the Year of the Sap. So far we've had the slapstick antics of side show attraction Bruce Jenner, Brian Williams getting caught tellin' tall tales out of school and Oregon Governor John Kitzhaber taking the fall for his dame blaming the media on his way out the door.. Oh, what will the Spring bring?

UPDATE:
Well, my Oscar picks were punk-ass, as the kids say. (What kids? I dunno...) But there are more saps to add to this growing list, namely Bill "Who put the 'ludes in my Jello?" Cosby and Donald "The Apprentice Republican" Trump. But at least the Confederate flag is toast in South Carolina, causing the corpse of DW Griffith to spin in his grave, Oregon got a new governor in Kate Brown who just might be the ticket, Gay marriage is the law of the land and the USA Women's Soccer Team brought home the World Cup.
The sap numbers keep increasing, but at least now there is a little balance.
Thank you, Universe. We may survive after all.
                                         
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