Sunday, May 18, 2014

State of the Cinema 2014

Finally, a decent night at the cinema hath soothed the savage breast. Alas, I don't think it going to last.

After a one-two punch of birthday movies spoiled by ineffectual sound proofing at the local movie storage unit aka the neighborhood multiplex, it was with great trepidation that I ventured once again into said House of Tards because I am indeed a glutton for punishment and a whiny ass bitch of the highest caliber. How else to fill a blog? With positivity and inspiration? Who am I-Andrew Weir?

In January, the poor experiences at both NEBRASKA and THE WOLF OF WALL STREET nearly made me give up the ghost and say goodbye to theaters once and for all, even though this is the holiest of all holy experiences for moi. Both films, fine as they may be, were marred with the BOOM BOOM BOOMS from the rude neighbors in the auditoriums next door showing RIDE ALONG and some other piece of dung meat that tarnishes the once silver screens of the world. I had to rewatch these movies at home to get what wanted out of them and they deserved better than the Regal Theater chain had to offer.

But since I had vowed to see THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL in a theater, I headed off to the same damn place (shame on me) because it was conveniently close to home on a quiet Sunday night and I am if nothing else, a gamblin' man. Lo and behold, two other couples occupied one of the larger auditoriums and nary a peep did I hear from them or whatever the hell was playing in the adjoining theater  Saints be praised.

Of the film, I have nothing but praise fro Wes Anderson's film, another feather in his director's cap. He truly is one of those event filmmakers, one whose work will drag my sorry ass out of my home and into a theater seat like the snake charmer that he is. Ralph Fiennes portrayal of M. Gustave is stupendous, a rascal of the highest order right up there with Gene Hackman's Royal Tenenbaum. And it is so refreshing to see F. Murray Abraham in a decent role at last. When was the last time-AMADEUS? My only complaint is that the cast is filled with so many names with so little to do turning the film into what critic Judith Crist used to call a "Hey look!" movie. "Hey look! There's Bill Murray! Hey look! There's Jason Schwartzman!" But this isn't really as review per se, so let's just say THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL gets the Cherney Seal of Approval.

My one decent movie-going experience for 2014 is unfortunately the exception to the rule. This bloody multiplex ridden industry has served to deteriorate the experience itself. There's no pride in this sort of exhibition, just a head em up and move em out mentality that turns this joints into corrals and the audience into the livestock that have become. Small wonder why people act as they do in these establishments. They're nothing special so why should they act any differently than they would at the tractor pull?

Once upon a time, movie studios owned their theaters to exhibit their product. The government broke these up claiming a monopoly on the free market which they were, but at least they took care of their own. Now, the exhibitors and studios hold each other in contempt, both turning out inferior products.Weasely Jeffrey Katzen berg of Dreamworks Studio is calling for a three week window for new movies, meaning three weeks in a theater before it's released to the home market for on demand or streaming.

READ THE STORY HERE             

That's all well and good for all the sequels and rehashes Jeffy's been churning out of his sausage factory for the past twenty years. Pricks like this have signed the death knell for movie theaters. But since they don't seem to care in the first place, it may be nothing more than assisted suicide.

But hey, it's the summer blah-buster season. It should be another record year at the box office. That is, as long as it still exists.
The clock is ticking.
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