Friday, December 28, 2012

Never Trust a Mayan

The world didn't end on 12/21/12 as supposedly predicted on the Mayan calendar. Or did it?

Those that swallowed this apocalyptic urban legend, many of the same crowd that are still reeling from the Y2K non-event a dozen years ago, are undoubtedly disappointed. It's probably because they feel they're overdue for a big "I TOLD YOU SO!" moment that's given them blue balls for holding it in since Jan.1, 2000.

On the other side is the irony crowd, snarkily embracing any disaster as another excuse for a party or pointed Tweet that'll make their feed followers nod in agreement before returning to their Gangnam Style Zumba work-outs.

But who is to say that the prophecy didn't come true? It could be just a matter of perception.

Certainly those who endured any major weather event this year, be it Sandy, the summer heat wave or even what's occurring right now (Christmas tornadoes? Really?) could very believe this was check-out time.

More down to Earth, but even scarier is what we do to each other. The People of Sandy Hook and Aurora know that the end can come by way of a fuck-nut with an assault rifle. The same thing happened in my neck of woods here in Oregon with mercifully few casualties but will always have the stigma of a Holiday shooting. The image of the mall Santa hiding out at Claim Jumper can be juxtaposed with the head of the NRA's blathering non-response to the problem. Armed guards at schools? Let's arm the kids. And shoppers. And movie ushers. Audiences too. Fuck it. Let's arm everybody. Fire at Will or Grace or both.

Obama's re-election in itself sure set off some Tsunami alarms. Now he wants to take weapons of mass destruction out of the hands of God-fearing Americans. He really is the Anti-Christ, isn't he?


The Fiscal Cliff imbroglio is looking like it may not be resolved by Monday, so if you were screwed before, get ready for sloppy seconds. I love it when egos roam the earth and cannot manage to solve the problems we elected them to fix. We won't have to jump off that cliff. They're trying to push us.

It all depends on how you look at things. But why are we willing to welcome the End of Days, the Rapture or Apocalypse Now and not Later? Why are we surrendering? Is it because life is just too darn tough? Do we think that it's akin to bankruptcy and we can eliminate our debts and sins simultaneously so that we can wipe our slates clean of all our responsibilities? Are we just looking for one big life do-over?

Maybe the Mayans weren't wrong after all. It could be the End of the World is already here, only it's not grand scale Roland Emmerich craptacular disaster movie style. It's just become a lot more personal.

I wonder what's on the Aztec calendar?

Happy New Year, y'all.
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