Monday, May 02, 2011

Osama bin Livin'

A package arrived at Al-Qaeda headquarters this morning. Unwrapping it, they discovered a dead salmon wrapped inside a newspaper.

"What the hell is this?" one Al-Qaeda member asked.

"It's a Sicilian message. It means Osama bin Laden sleeps with the fishes."

I have mixed feelings about the news that U.S. forces reportedly killed Public Enemy Scumbaggio Numero Uno Osama bin Laden. It's not that I'm sorry he's gone. Far from it. It's too bad he wasn't aborted years ago so that this evil fuck was never born into this world at all. Set the Way-Back Machine and bring a knitting needle. What this horrendous piece of filth put this world through in his life and time can never be undone and, yeah, we're better off without him and would have been even better off if he never existed in the first place. Should have been caught alive? According to the reports, it wasn't an option, but then again, he was unarmed. It would have been great to see him do the perp walk, but then what? Stick him in Gitmo for Allah knows how long so that he could really think about the consequences of his actions. A lengthy nonsensical trial and, throwing himself on the mercy of the court, is sent to prison where the poor unfortunate lad can be rehabilitated and released back into society as a fine upright citizen who paid his debt to society?


Let's just say I'm skeptical, but just don't try to demonize me as as a conspiracy theorist. In the wake of the Birther bullshit (the latest salvo sponsored by that hump Donald Trump) along with the onslaught of other wackjob cock-a-doodle-doo, I understand the trepidation. There are just a lot of questions and doubts that I have in my mind that are confusing me at this very important moment in time. This burial at sea business sounds kind of suspect. You could say after a cap was popped in Osama's noggin, he was fitted with a cement overcoat. (That IS the Chicago way, isn't it, Mr. President?) No trace of a body, but then again, what if Osama was bombed into submission in one of those damn caves where they claimed he was hiding out, (They found him a suburb. Swell. Was he just sitting down to watch THE AMAZING RACE when the Navy Seals busted in?) there'd be no way to confirm his death then either, but this story is too pat so far. Shot in the head. Well, that's what is known as The Money Shot, that's for sure, but the whole operation seemed so Tom Clancy-ish, a little too slick to be completely credible. This story just keeps changing day-to-day, back and forth, to and fro, down is up, up is down, a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped inside an know the Oliver Stone drill by now, don't you?

I can't help but be suspicious. I am a product of my environment. In my lifetime, but especially in the eleven years since 9/11, we have been fed a series of deceitful lies and half-truths passed off as facts by the Powers that Be, that is, when they decided to tell us anything at all. The crap they spoon fed us following those darkest of days hit us when we were at our most vulnerable and gullible. (WMDs, anyone?) I can't take what we are being told at face value anymore. Doing so has gotten into most of the mess find ourselves at this very moment. Maybe in the age of instant information and gratification, I'm expecting too much, too soon as it drifts in from the fog of war.

And I don't mean to piss on anybody's death parade. Killing bin Laden does provide more than just modicum of closure. It's also a helluva story. No time in American history have we been able to kill the bad guy. Remember, Hitler killed himself. Al Capone was picked up for tax evasion. So this was a golden opportunity. The timing couldn't be better, right before the tenth anniversary of 9/11 and a year before the election.

So what would convince me? Pictures? Not in the age of Photoshop. A body? Too late. He's shark chum. DNA evidence? The results were supposedly given before President Obama gave the announcement that he was killed. What is it I want exactly?

The answer is simple:

I don't know.

I only know this. I know that I want is for my government to stop lying to me. It's silly. It's naive. It's too much to ask. Maybe for once, they can tell us the truth. I don't want to to feel this way. It's been tearing me up all week long as I keep debating with myself whether I should post this at all. I don't write this to dishonor those who perished on 9/11 or those who have given their lives since then (with one main exception). Quite the contrary. It is because of those who died that we should really know what the hell happened and not be sold a bill of goods that just don't seem to add up. More and more, it's becoming nothing but smoke and mirrors. Just get your stories straight, people! You owe it to the dead, to the living and you owe it to yourselves.

And if Osama bin Laden is indeed dead, then good riddance to bad rubbish. Saddam Hussein, Adolph Hitler and Pol Pot have a fourth for bridge. That would make it a final score, in overtime:
Obama 1, Osama 0. (Sorry, W. You couldn't get 'ir done)

But if this all turns out to be a fairy tale, a shuck and jive, a flaming paper bag of shit, don't ask us to put out the flames. You lit it. You step on it.

I hope I'm wrong because I don't want to right. Because like the lyrics from the song by Sting:

"If I ever lose my faith in you,
There'll be nothing for me to do."

And that is a sad, sorry situation indeed.
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