Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thanks/No Thanks 2010

Thanksgiving, a time to give thanks for giving. It's also a time to decline those that keep on giving when enough is frickin' enough.

THANKS...to the late, great Dino De Laurentis who passed away recently at the age of 91. Dino was a combination pizza (with lotsa mootzarell) of a legendary movie producer whose filmography ran the gamut from Fellini masterpieces to MANDINGO, one of the most reprehensible films ever made. He also gave this swell Tinsel Town anecdote.

Back in 1976, two big budget movie remakes (You think those are only indigenous of this era? Au contraire, mon frere!) opened during the Christmas holiday season: Dino's horrific KING KONG with Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange and Rick Baker in a monkey suit and Barbra Streisand in A STAR IS BORN, produced by Babs' boyfriend at the time, Jon Peters.

Peters and De Laurentis had run into each other at some function with the younger producer chiding his Italian competitor.

"Dino, A STAR IS BORN is going to out-gross KING KONG at the box office, " Peters reportedly declared.

"Well," Dino replied. "That's because your monkey can sing!"

R.I.P., Dino.

NO THANKS...to any show whose title ends ...WITH THE STARS. seriously. The American public just can't handle the stress any longer. For one thing, the daughter of a politician is not a "star", let alone some mook from Jersey that calls himself a "situation". Maybe they should combine the CELEBRITY REHAB show with this dance-off so the world can watch a bunch of substance abusers trying to cut a rug under the influence. Slapstick a'plenty! Now THAT'S entertainment!

THANKS...to the two best casting choices of the year...Sacha Baron Cohen as Freddy Mercury and Daniel Day-Lewis as Abraham Lincoln. No, it's not in the same film. Now THERE'S an idea...

NO THANKS...to awarding Tina Fey the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. A little soon, don't you think? Shouldn't this be for BODY of work instead of an overrated TV sitcom and an overworked, however spot on, impression? Five years from now I could even accept, but this just kind of reeks of knee-jerk political backlash. It makes just want to say Feh to Fey.

THANKS...to AMC for THE WALKING DEAD, the best zombie TV series ever. It's also the only zombie TV series ever.

NO THANKS...to AMC for a six episode season for THE WALKING DEAD. That's not a season. That's a mini-series. Now we have to wait another year until season 2. How will we get our undead fix in the next 12 months? Well, there's always C-SPAN.

THANKS...to ME for coming up with another Thanksgiving movie besides PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES. May I suggest the 1984 Woody Allen classic BROADWAY DANNY ROSE. It's a sweet little Damon Runyonesque showbiz tale of a dime store talent agent who poses as the boyfriend for a married lounge singer's mistress. DANNY ROSE has a funny little Thanksgiving scene toward the end of the picture where he prepares turkey TV dinner as for all his clients. It's a minor Allen film, but one of my own personal faves that actually deserves a place on the Thanksgiving film rotation.

Happy T'Giving to all of ye. Even you, Palin family. Poor guys can't manage to put one in the win column, can they? Yes, I can jerk a knee with the worst of 'em

Gobble, gobble.

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