Monday, May 18, 2009

Jon & Kate Plus Hate

These must the slowest days in tabloid journalism ever.

Standing at the grocery checkout line the other day, I couldn't help but scan the headlines of the various trash rags available as impulse purchases for the desperate and needy. The Enquirer, Star, People and US all featured articles about the “stars” of the TLC breeder program, JON and KATE PLUS 8 and their marital woes emblazoned across the various covers in typically lurid fashion. (Doesn't TLC stand for The Learning Channel? The only thing I could learn from shows like these is birth control)

I couldn't even muster enough disdain to shrug my shoulders at this “breaking story” until I found that my latest copy of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, my only current subscription, also wasted space (and apparently my money) on this non-story about these non-celebs. I wasn’t surprised since EW has been steadily going downhill into the depths of the pop culture sewer in an effort to survive in this chickenshit new world of new media. How else can it expect to compete with the other carrion unless it can dive into the deep end of the cesspool?

But Jon andKate? Seriously? Isn’t it enough that these boring nobodies have their own TV show as a result of animal husbandry experimentation? So now they have scandal to add to their boring lives as well.

I dashed off a letter to EW reading:

What is your obsession with Jon and Kate? Last week they "headlined" the News + Notes section (the front section of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY). Now there's a bloody article devoted to these dullards.
The more you feature manufactured reality "stars" like these two zeroes, the more you give credence to another Octomom waiting in the wings ready to spawn another series for TLC.
By the way, I'm confused. Is it Kate with a K or a C? That's right. I have seen the show.
She's definitely a C.


Signed

Scott Cherney

That’s what y’all call putting my two cents in. It’s all I could afford...and twice as much than these people deserve.

I'm certainly no better wasting any valuable blog space on the likes of them, let alone a thought in the first place. But who am I? I'm nothing. I can't even claim to have a high horse to sit upon to pass judgement on those I deem unworthy. I don't have a reality show. All I have is reality. Oh, and I have a blog, making the trivial even more insignificant, one post at a time.

For those who choose to live in that bubble and then complain that they just can't take the pressure, either get out now or enjoy your time in the human zoo. Just don't expect me to feed you. But I might bang on your cage just for fun.
You might ask: "Why would I do that?"

In the immortal words of the late great Howard Beale: "Because, dummy, you're on television."
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