Sunday, September 10, 2006
So the summer season comes to a close and what a few interesting months it was, eh, folks?
For me it began on 6/6/06, the day we were all dreading thanks to both The Bible and THE OMEN. No, Satan didn’t have his way that day (no more than he ever does, the lil’ scamp) and I scoffed at the silliness of the superstitious nabobs of the world for believing in such tripe. But, that day I got the boot from the company I was working for, an outfit that the very next day had a newspaper expose dealing alleged unscrupulous business practices. It was to laugh, it was to cry. Since then, I’ve been rehired and must wear clothes that are a cross between a Blockbuster employee and John Mark Karr (a summer ‘o6 reference that is sure to be a future Trivial Pursuit answer)
But the summer ended sadly ended with the death of beloved goofball Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. Folks, something was bound to happen and the dingbat even said that he hopes it was captured on film. Should we be allowed to see it? Okay, but how about for a price. Make it pay-per-view and let the money go to some wildlife charity of the family’s choice. It’s just going to end up on YouTube anyway-or a revival of FACES OF DEATH. You’ve got to admit, ol’ Steve went out in real superstar fashion--pierced through the heart by a stingray. That’s something right out of ALIEN. Crikey!
Oh, and Happy 9/11, everybody. Haven’t you heard? It’s the 5th anniversary, don’t you know and you can celebrate by either renting one of two movies entitled UNITED 93, go see Oliver Stone’s non-political WORLD TRADE CENTER in a theater near you or stay home and watch ABC’s "politically charged" docu-drama about the events that led up to this future three day weekend. The liberals hate this version. Must be payback for THE REAGANS movie a couple of years ago. Maybe the producers though Oliver Stone was going to approach his film in his usual manner, NATURAL BORN KILLERS 9/11. As for me, it all just makes me want to vomit. It's too fucking soon for all this crap. Besides, I'd rather not relive it all by filling the coffers of those who choose to exploit the worst thing that ever occurred in modern times.
But let’s get back to some good ol’ superficiality, shall we?
In May, I was picking my choices for the Summer Box Office Derby and let’s see how I done did.
DA VINCI CODE- Not the #1 pick that I predicted, but still made over 200 mil.
Others on my list that made it were CARS, X-MEN 3, PIRATES 2 (number 1 with over 400 mil domestically), the suckfest known as SUPERMAN RETURNS, CLICK and MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3 (boy, was I right about TomTom’s flailing appeal). I missed OVER THE HEDGE though my assumption that the glut of CGI is hurting every animated release that passes was spot on, TALLADEGA NIGHTS due to Will Ferrell’s recent lackluster run I believed would hurt but was wrong wrong wrong and THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, this year’s sleeper that beat out my choice, THE BREAK OUT. I also fell for the hype of SNAKES ON A PLANE and I now wear the puckered asshole look of shame.
One more thing about SUPERMAN RETURNS. A sequel may occur sometime in the future, hopefully not under the guidance of one Bryan Singer. He is a one hit wonder, that being THE USUAL SUSPECTS. Singer has been a constant disappointment since then. Compare him to Christopher Nolan whose MEMENTO was just as good as SUSPECTS. Maybe his stuff hasn’t matched that first incredible success, but at last he didn’t fuck up BATMAN.
More about the summer of ’06 coming soon to a blog near you.