Thursday, July 06, 2006

Catfish Are Jumpin'

Ah, the joys of summer. Ain’t life grand? Well. it would be if I didn’t feel like three different kinds of dog shit piled into one heap with this nasty ass virus I’ve acquired. After three days of a scratchy throat, intermittent flashes of fever and a beard growth that tells the world there’s a fungus among us, I look like a cross between a sterno bum and the monkey from Outbreak.

But let’s not have it spoil your fun.

This may be a rumor, but it’s certainly worth checking out. Thanks to the success of recent musical bio-pics like Ray and Walk the Line, it appears that shooting is set to commence on Constant Craving: The Story of kd lang. In the starring role….
Brokeback Mountain’s Jake Gyllenhaal.

Let’s all give a big buh-bye to Star Jones. It’s not like anyone watched The View anyway, but now that she is without exposure to the outside world, she can just fade away, albeit ungracefully. I suppose I should be a little more sympathetic since we’re both unemployed at the moment, but, let’s face it. She just doesn’t deserve it.

It seems the big star of the movie season this year won’t be Brandon Routh after all. Who is everyone talking about this summer? Why Al Gore of course! Them damn documentary movies shore am popular, ain’t they? Last year we had penguins, this year, My Pal Al. Who do you think has more personality? I swear that if he uses the line, “I used to be the next President of the United States”, I’ll give him some global warming he won’t forget. Al, here’s a bulletin. You lost the election. Your smug-ass attitude made you believe you could coast through on your laurels, yet you forgot how you got to where you were in the first place. Why did you lose so many voters to Ralph Nader when they could have chosen you instead? You didn’t even try, then when you lost in that nefarious “dead-heat”in Florida, you cried like a little bitch. Oh, so NOW you care! Al, you are as responsible for giving Bush the election as much as he is for stealing it. There’s An Inconvenient Truth for you.

Happy Motoring!
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