Thursday, May 05, 2005

Speaking of Which...


"Oh, God, do I hate show business..."
"Joe, you love show business."
"That's right. I love show business. I'll go either way."

That snippet of dialogue is from Bob Fosse's classic ALL THAT JAZZ, written by Robert Alan Authur, and sums pretty much how I feel about it all. I hate it. I love it. Actually it's more that I love the show and hate the business, but what it really boils down to is the yin, the yang and the whole damn thang. Each day brings more news from the world of entertainment that just infuriates me to no end...but I can't stop caring about it because it is my red-headed stepchild.

For example...

Pat O'Brien on The Dr. Phil Special, a classic case of the worm that eats its own tail. Here's a guy that nobody should know. He is a non-celebrity. He's just a reporter on a gossip show. He goes into rehab for drug and alcohol abuse but not before alerting his media brethren. Exiting
his stay at E! The True Hollywood Detox Center, he makes a date to have his crash and burn showcased on a Dr. Phil episode. My question is: WHO GIVES A SHIT? The only Pat O'Brien anyone should ever know was the Warner Brothers actors form the 1930s. I'll take Potatoes O'Brien over this zippity-doo-nothing. Why do we feel the need to invent the news? It's like this Paula Abdul non-scandal. Oh my God! Don't tell that the American Karaoke show could lose its integrity now? It's the end of the world!

Speaking of which...

In the print ads for THE INTERPRETER, Sean Penn looks like Mrs. Doubtfire in profile. Of course he's not Mrs. Doubtfire. Sean Penn is one of our finest actors.

Speaking of which...

Will Ferrell may just very well be this year's Ben Stiller. His latest , KICKING AND SCREAMING, looks like contractual obligation as it is. Then he follows that up with the BEWITCHED "re-imagining". Two words, Will: Elliott Gould. Look it up.

Speaking of which...

Why is Ice Cube's back turned toward the camera in the print ads for XXX: STATE OF THE UNION? His face is simply not shown nor is his name above the title (as it should be-he's earned it) or even mentioned in the movie's trailer? It's as though the studio was trying to distance themselves away from the Iceman. Someone should speak to Mr. Cube or at least his agent over this obvious dissing.

Speaking of which...

Box office analysts are predicting that the HOUSE OF WAX remake may be the number one movie of the weekend since it features the grisly death of Paris Hilton's character. Give the public what they want... Apparently she gets the business end of a spear shoved through her forehead. Well, at least it won't cause any real damage. Hey, this might be a step in the right direction for her. Maybe it will culminate in a remake of FACES OF DEATH. Now THAT'S entertainment.

Speaking of which...

Catch SIN CITY before it leaves the theaters. This is the first movie in a long time that I've actually wanted to see a second time...in a theater. Oh, it has its flaws, particularly with some of the hard-bitten dialogue that some actors aren't capable of grasping. (This means you, Brittany Murphy) And although I thought Clive Owen had the right look for the part, he is the first Brit I've seen in quite awhile that actually sounds weaker with an American accent. But the pluses outweigh the minuses ten-fold. The Mickey Rourke sequence is worth the price of admission alone. Rourke as the character Marv will no doubt be the most memorable character of the year. Robert Rodriquez has leap-frogged to this front of the pack on sheer BALLS alone, telling the Directors Guild to go fuck themselves while he makes movies the way HE wants to make them. Unfortunately, the last fifteen minutes of the film were disrupted by the audio bleed-through from the neighboring film (AMITYVILLE) at the Regal Cinema I chose to view SIN CITY. They're damn lucky I didn't go all Marv on them for this intrusion. You'd think I'd learn. But I don't. Still in all, it could not dampen the impact of this great film. Great film. When was the last time those two words have gone together?

I had to end on a positive note. I just had to.
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