Thursday, January 20, 2005

More Mind Farts or The Answer, My Friend, is Breaking the Wind

Ahhh...Inauguration Day. What a proud day for American excess at its absolute zenith. Yuck. Excuse me if I
puke up all my Freedom Fries. I wonder what the final tally is for the World's Biggest Circle Jerk? There had to be at least person in W's ear that said,
"Hey, maybe since we're, y'know, at war, we might want to perhaps...not go for so much pomp and circumstance?"
But ol' President Pinhead probably threw a tantrum.
"No way, Jose! I beat that Ugly Big Head John Kerry! Fair and square!"
"Well nothin'! I want me all that pompous circumcision or whatever you said. I want a party with cake...and ice cream...and beef stew. I wantitIwantitIwantit! Uncle Dick! They don't want me to have no party!"
Then Cheney walks in and snaps the neck of the one voice of reason like a celery stick.

I wonder if all that money that wasted on this fiasco could have been better spent for...oh, say..some body armor for the troops? Oh well. Let them wear cake.

Hey, Bubba Clinton and Lady MacBeth showed up too. He had that look on his face that said, "Look at all the Conservative poon. I'm gonna get me some of that. Yes sir, gonna get me some strange. Conservative poon... Ain't nothin' stranger'n that."

While watching some of the coverage of the Secretary of State confirmation hearings, I had a couple of thoughts. Wouldn't Condie Rice have made a better Catwoman than Halle Berry? Maybe not in the body department, but certainly with her winning personality. And oh that smile... Meow indeed. I'm going to make a prediction here. I think it will eventually be revealed that W and The Catwoman have been having a torrid affair for years. I haven't seen sexual tension like that since Bubba and Monica. Maybe he got the idea from Strom Thurmond. "Lissen heah, Mistah's true. Y'all never go back!"

On recommendation from several sources, I finally watched THE IRON GIANT over the weekend and found it to be one of the best animated films of the last ten years. Directed by THE INCREDIBLES' Brad Bird, this is incredible as well, an American cartoon that does not talk down to its supposed projected young audience, speaking to adults as well. No wonder Pixar hired this guy. It's nice to see something other than CGI for a change.

As for guilty pleasures, I have to say that I have a soft spot for DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER on A&E. This guy and his wife may be on the brighter side of white trash and probably forever stuck in the eighties-he with the Mullet from Hell, she with the WAY too tight Flashdance wear-but, I gotta tell ya, the people have heart and it really comes across on the show. In between Dog's home-spun words of wisdom and his bikerlike tactics, I find him to be a pretty decent guy. It's a good half hour program and much better than the almost identical FAMILY BONDS on HBO. Those guys are just mooks. DOG's Hawaii locales come across better than the Long Island of BONDS too. I know...hard to believe, isn't it?

More Funny Band Names
Fist City
Good for Cows
Hillbilly Devilspeak
The Buttless Chaps

All for now
Happy Second Term, George
No hard feelings
No feelings at all
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