YooStar, MeStar

What is being called "the movie version of Guitar Hero" is going on sale next month. YooStar allows perfectly common folk like you and me...well, you, maybe...to place yourself in scenes from famous films and TV shows via green-screen technology all in the privacy of your own home.

On the YooStar website (http://www.yoostar.com) you can find examples of what will be available when said device hits the market in August. You can co-star in such movies as WITNESS, SPARTACUS, SOME LIKE IT HOT, SUNSET BOULEVARD, even THE TERMINATOR. SESAME STREET with the dreaded Elmo is an application for kids...or vicious adults. I imagine you'll be able to buy additional scenes from I-Tunes or some such racket.

Sounds like fun to me, but I'll tell you what will put this baby over the top:
PORN.

Why not? Porn makes the world go around. Porn catapulted home video into the stratosphere. It was porn that made the Internet what it is today.

Once the first guy drops trou in a scene with Marilyn Monroe, a star will be born...or porn, as it were. Of course, one could do the same with Elmo as well. Who's going to stop you?

Yes, indeed, my friends. Sex sells and always will.

Never Can Say Goodbye

I don't have much to contribute to the tribute of Michael Jackson, even though I recognize the significance he had on the world. Anything I would add would redundant since the blog waves and the rest of the Internet are buzzing about trying to compete for viewing time.

I will, however, relate this one story, reprinted from an earlier post after Michael beat his last child molestation rap:

Back in the late 1980s and about three blocks from where I grew up, some sick fuck armed with an AK-47 walked onto the campus of Grover Cleveland Elementary School and massacred a bunch of school children. Their bodies fell right in front of where I used to attend Mr. Padovan's sixth grade class. The killer then turned the weapon on himself, blowing his own worthless life away as well. Naturally,this was the lead story of the national news that night. The whole world had its eyes on Cleveland School, its victims and its survivors. The media circus had hit Stockton with a vengeance as everyone mourned the death of these children and tried to figure out how this could have happened. Michael Jackson learned of what occurred in Stockton and at that time, he was the self-proclaimed champion of children everywhere. So he came to Cleveland School one afternoon not long after the massacre to offer his support and comfort a bunch of traumatized kids. He did not allow cameras to follow him inside the auditorium (what we used to call the "multi-purpose room") where the children gathered to meet Michael, so only they and the the faculty knew what was said. That didn't stop the media circus from returning once they knew the King of Pop was in town.

I couldn't help but wonder if those stressed out kids freaked out all over again once they heard the helicopters circling overhead just as they had before and the crowds began to scream for Michael upon his arrival.Was Michael up to no good even back then? Who knows? Certainly not at that moment. This gesture wasn't just a publicity stunt either. I believed he actually wanted to do some good. I wonder what those kids, now all grown up, are saying today. After all, they lost their own innocence in an entirely different way-at the hands of a gun-toting maniac.

But that day, Michael managed to do something very good and totally unselfish, yes, for the children.

Face/Off at Facebook or What the F Am I Doing here?

Yes, another Carrie Bradshaw title. I am a hack.

So I'm doing the Facebook thing. I figured it was time, but then again, that's also the problem.

Time.

Between searching for friends, receiving friend requests, approving said friend requests, sending messages to my friends, who the hell has time for anything else? It took me forever just to set the dang thing up with a few photos. But some people sit on this site all the ding-dong day and take surveys, send virtual rounds of drinks...and what the name of Steve Jobs does "poking" mean?

Honest to Jehovah, it wears me out.

So anyway, I'm on Facebook. Wanna be my friend?

David Carradine's sudden death took the world by surprise, but then again so did his life. His demise, rumored to be of the Michael Hutchence variety, has been the subject of many a blog, gossip rag and site, not to mention those merry pranksters on radio and TV that feel compelled to fill their airtime with anytime except substance.

Carradine had built an impressive abundance of credits over the years, rivalling his father, John, in the low-budget department. But leave us not forget, David was also an Academy Award Best Actor nominee for his role of Woody Guthrie in Hal Ashby's BOUND FOR GLORY.Naturally, his iconic role of Caine in KUNG FU will be at the top of his legacy, but there are other landmarks in his canon as well. His take on Cole Younger in Walter Hill's brilliant western THE LONG RIDERS fit him like a glove, the only film he appeared with brothers Keith and Robert. In 1975, Carradine starred as a character called Frankenstein in the sensational satire DEATH RACE 2000 for Roger Corman's studio. And naturally, his most recent rebirth courtesy of Quentin Tarantino as the title character in KILL BILL.

But one Carradine film that has been omitted from his obits really deserves to be revived, the kung fu fantasy CIRCLE OF IRON from 1978. In 1969, Bruce Lee and James Coburn conceived the screen story for IRON (originally titled THE SILENT FLUTE) with the full intention of starring in it themselves. This is a few years before Lee's ascension as a major star in Hong Kong films, so the project was an uphill battle at best. The project remained on the shelf long after Lee's death in 1973. Oscar winning screenwriter Sterling Silliphant (IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT) devised a workable screenplay and David Carradine, capitalizing on his KUNG FU fame, took over Lee's quadruple play.

CIRCLE OF IRON is almost a greatest hits package of Zen parables.Sample dialogue:

BLIND MAN: A fish saved my life once.

CORD: How?

BLIND MAN: I ate him.

I love this kind of stuff.

It contains some very decent fight sequences attached, wrapped in a serviceable story about the quest for the Book of Knowledge. Directed by cinematographer Richard Moore in his one and stint in the captain's chair, handles the whole package with a light, but deft touch.

And Carradine plays each of his characters in his easy, laconic-and iconic-style. CIRCLE OF IRON is a fine testament to the man, the legend, now the salacious rumor.

Now that the dust has settled, maybe now we can remember Carradine for something other than the weirdo way his life ended and get back to more serious discussion.

Like what?

Like the fact that Jon & Kate are separating! Yay!

Frankly I smell a rat. (Maybe it's under Kate's hairdo. What the hell is that thing anyway? Didn't Brad Pitt wear a similar helmet in TROY?) I have a feeling it's all a set up. They saw how big the ratings were for these "troubled relationship" shows of theirs, the biggest in TLC history. (Shame on them and anyone who watched them. That's right. Shame. Remember that feeling?) next set of shows will be them living separate lives and how they deal with the kids which will all culminate in their reconciliation., resulting in even bigger ratings for these boorish freaks.

And the kids? Maybe they'll get their own spin-off series, one for each kid. I hope it involves therapy...or even foster parents. They can go live with The Duggers. They need eight more kids. That'll put 'em in well into the twenties.

What a world.

Totally Worthwhile

In the year since RED ASPHALT was published has been filled with both highs and lows, not unlike a makeshift roller coaster in a Kiddeeland amusement park.


I've had a couple of interviews (most recently-BACKSTAGE PASS on Blogtalk Radio). There have been some very decent reviews, including one just last week on The Self Publishing Review, which can be found at:

http://www.selfpublishingreview.com/2009/05/31/red-asphalt-by-scott-cherney/

I've had a lot of excellent feedback on my book, even from a few "celebs". While this hasn't generated a flock of sales or even a a Flock of Seagulls, it has given both my work and me what my friend D.W.Landingham would refer to as "exposure". (Yes, the quotation marks are intentional and appropriate)


Now while I would love nothing better than to have a best-seller and a movie sale (hope reigns eternal in this young man's breast), I can really think of no better reward than the picture I've posted above.


That's my grandson Sebastian holding up a copy of his grandpa's book which he and his dad Matt found on the library shelf in Hillsboro, Oregon. To me, it's the proverbial picture worth a thousand words. My best buddy holding up my book in a library: Priceless.

When you least expect it, life sometimes has ways to remind you of just where stand in the world. When I saw this, I knew immediately where I fit in at this moment in time. It turns out to be a very good place indeed.

But because I still want some more sales to put under my belt and into my wallet, I should tell you that RED ASPHALT as well as two of my other books, NOW THAT'S FUNNY and SONG OF THE LONE PRAIRIE are available right this very minute at Lulu.com for 10% off. This includes both the paperback and download editions. Go to:
http://www.lulu.com/scottcherney
Make your selection, click the BUY button, then enter the code: JUNECONTEST10 at checkout to receive your discount.
This discount is good until the end of this month.

Jon & Kate Plus Hate

These must the slowest days in tabloid journalism ever.

Standing at the grocery checkout line the other day, I couldn't help but scan the headlines of the various trash rags available as impulse purchases for the desperate and needy. The Enquirer, Star, People and US all featured articles about the “stars” of the TLC breeder program, JON & KATE PLUS 8 and their marital woes emblazoned across the various covers in typically lurid fashion. (Doesn't TLC stand for The Learning Channel? The only thing I could learn from shows like these is birth control)

I couldn't even muster enough disdain to shrug my shoulders at this “breaking story” until I found that my latest copy of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, my only current subscription, also wasted space (and apparently my money) on this non-story about these non-celebs. I wasn’t surprised since EW has been steadily going downhill into the depths of the pop culture sewer in an effort to survive in this chickenshit new world of new media. How else can it expect to compete with the other carrion unless it can dive into the deep end of the cesspool?

But Jon & Kate? Seriously? Isn’t it enough that these boring nobodies have their own TV show as a result of animal husbandry experimentation? So now they have scandal to add to their boring lives as well.

I dashed off a letter to EW reading:

What is your obsession with Jon & Kate? Last week they "headlined" the News + Notes section (the front section of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY). Now there's a bloody article devoted to these dullards.
The more you feature manufactured reality "stars" like these two zeroes, the more you give credence to another Octomom waiting in the wings ready to spawn another series for TLC.
By the way, I'm confused. Is it Kate with a K or a C? That's right. I have seen the show.
She's definitely a C.

Signed

Scott Cherney

That’s what y’all call putting my two cents in. It’s all I could afford...and twice as much than these people deserve.

I'm certainly no better wasting any valuable blog space on the likes of them, let alone a thought in the first place. But who am I? I'm nothing. I can't even claim to have a high horse to sit upon to pass judgement on those I deem unworthy. I don't have a reality show. All I have is reality. Oh, and I have a blog, making the trivial even more insignificant, one post at a time.

For those who choose to live in that bubble and then complain that they just can't take the pressure, either get out now or enjoy your time in the human zoo. Just don't expect me to feed you. But I might bang on your cage just for fun.

You might ask: "Why would I do that?"

In the immortal words of the late great Howard Beale: "Because, dummy, you're on television."