The Best Films of the Double Ohs

Finally! After almost four weeks, I can finally put this damn decade behind me and move on to the next...already in progress.

As much as I really loathe this practice of compiling lists, I still manage to compile them year after tedious year since the inception of this here blog o' mine. But now that the first decade of the formerly new millennium is now over and done with, I've found it rather...dare I say...rewarding in some fashion. As much as I bitch and moan about compiling these bloody things, I continue to do so, maybe because it's some sort of cheap therapy for me. After all, these things only reflect my tastes and no one else's, so the lists say more about me than the movies themselves. Or it's all just wanking at the keyboards. (Wasn't that the title of the Van Cliburn autobiography?)

At the top o' my list, my choice for the Best Film of the Decade: Wes Anderson's THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS

Delivering on the promise he showed with RUSHMORE, Anderson created this dysfunctional family circus, an absolutely perfect piece of cinema that I will cherish for years to come (thanks Max). I disagree with the knock on Anderson that his work is too precious and mannered, more style than substance. There is certainly both in this film, Anderson working on all cylinders. Anchoring TENENBAUMS in the most overlooked performance of the decade is the rascally Gene Hackman, the ringmaster of this saga. For me, this was one big smile from beginning until end, lingering long and often in my personal filmography.

Followed by:

Park Chan Wook's OLD BOY and Hayao Miyazaki's SPIRITED AWAY- Two films, complete polar opposites in both style and content, that catapulted my love for Asian cinema this last decade. Wook's extreme revenge tale resonates with each viewing and really launched the popularity of Korean film. Thanks to my grandson Sebastian, I was able to lower my resistance to Japanese anime with Miyazaki's masterpiece and discover the treasures this extraordinary filmmaker has to offer.

Martin Scorsese's THE DEPARTED

Oscar finally smiled on Uncle Marty and justice has been served at last.

Alexander Payne's SIDEWAYS

With a better track record than Wes Anderson, Payne really knocked one of the park with this comedy of friendship, wine and unpublished manuscripts. This hit me right where I live.

Danny Boyle's SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

See previous posting. I'm a willing sucker for this great fairy tale.

Andrew Dominik's THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD

Best goddamn western of the last twenty years. Period.

Peter Jackson's LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy

I still can't believe he pulled it off. To recall this accomplishment makes me forgive his KING KONG stumble.

James Marsh's WISCONSIN DEATH TRIP

Best goddamn documentary of the decade, much better than his MAN ON WIRE. Well worth seeking out.

Tomas Alfredson's LET THE RIGHT ONE IN

Brilliant vampire film that deserves to be seen. Right up there with NEAR DARK.

Pete Docter's UP

How do you really pick anything from Pixar? No studio has a better catalog. I could have easily substituted FINDING NEMO, RATATOUILLE, WALL-E, THE INCREDIBLES or MONSTERS INC. But UP, the simplest of the bunch, charmed my socks off.

Robert Altman's GOSFORD PARK and A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION

Perfect swan songs from the master, the former a surprise British treatise, the latter a Valentine to a dying art form.

Also: CITY OF GOD,MEMENTO, PAN'S LABYRINTH,Steven Spielberg's sci-fi trilogy (AI, MINORITY REPORT, WAR OF THE WORLDS), ELECTION/TRIAD ELECTION, O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?, JUNO, MULHOLLAND DRIVE, SEABISCUIT, AMERICAN SPLENDOR, MYSTIC RIVER, MILLION DOLLAR BABY, QUILLS, PAPRIKA, MILLENNIUM ACTRESS, UNITED 93, HERO, CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON and LANTANA

Worst Movie of the Last Ten Years

No movie fills my mouth with more bile than the horrible botch job known as Bryan Singer's wretched SUPERMAN RETURNS. Way to ruin a franchise for the next twenty years, Bry.

Finally Thoughts

The first ten years of this century also renewed my passion for film itself, a project I conceived in 2002 when I wrote myself a "bucket list" of sorts of 52 cinematic classics I had never seen. 52 was the goal I set, at least one great film a week for a year. Eight years later and I'm still a couple shy, but I made up for in volume in substitutions. I'll write in length about this in a future installment but here are the original 52:

BLACK NARCISSUS, THE RED SHOES, RED DESERT, SPARTACUS, THE GREAT DICTATOR, METROPOLIS, THE CROWD, THE 400 BLOWS, ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT, FURY, RAN, THE SEVEN SAMURAI, MEPHISTO, NIGHTS OF CABIRIA, OPEN CITY, THE ASPHALT JUNGLE, NAKED CITY, THE CINCINNATI KID, THE HUSTLER, GIANT, 8 1/2, LA DOLCE VITA, PICKPOCKET, A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE, THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL, BREATHLESS, JULES AND JIM, DOUBLE INDEMNITY, THE LOST WEEKEND, PURPLE NOON, KING OF HEARTS, THE TIN DRUM, THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING, A FACE IN THE CROWD, A PLACE IN THE SUN, THE APU TRILOGY (PATHER PANCHALI, APARIJITO, THE WORLD OF APU), WEEKEND, DIABOLIQUE, THE FIREMAN'S BALL, BIG DEAL ON MADONNA STREET, LE SAMOURAI, THE MYSTERY OF KASPER HAUSER, THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN, LOLA MONTES-all of which I did see

Those remaining from the original 52: DAS BOOT, HEART OF GLASS, TRISTANA, THE TESTAMENT OF ORPHEUS

I'll get around to these soon enough, but I've had ten times as many viable substitutions to make up for the incomplete grade I've given myself.

There is an entire world of film out there that is yours for the asking, the taking, the viewing. If you have any love for movies at all, you owe to yourself to open your eyes and see what else is out there. You never know what you might find, whether it be an Italian western, a Danish crime film, a Brazilian love story, an Australian sci-fi or even a Russian cartoon. And don't ignore American film history either. You'll never know where you're going until you know where you've been.

Trust me. The thrill of discovery is a joy to experience and you'll want it again and again.

Open your eyes. You'll be amazed what you'll see.

The Best of 2009

Overall, 2009 was a decent year for entertainment, but not exactly exemplary. Almost everything that made my list had so many flaws they wouldn't have made it on better years. Still, I managed to come up with quite a few all-time favorites in the process.

Best TV Series: MAD MEN

By focusing on the year 1963, Matthew Weiner's brilliant series charted a pivotal course for his show during this pivotal time in history.

Best moment: a shaken Don Draper coming to grips with the truth in the episode entitled THE GYPSY AND THE HOBO with the haunting tagline "Who are you supposed to be?"

Second best: Office party lawn mower in GUY WALKS INTO AN ADVERTISING AGENCY

Best CD

DIG, LAZARUS, DIG by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

I played the beejus outta this sucker. Favorite cut: Lie Down Here and Be My Girl.

Best Book

PICTURES AT A REVOLUTION: FIVE MOVIES AND THE BIRTH OF THE NEW HOLLYWOOD by Mark Harris-One of the best books about the movies I've ever read. All about the transitional year of 1967, focusing on the five films nominated for Best Picture Oscars-THE GRADUATE, GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER?, BONNIE AND CLYDE, IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT and best of all DOCTOR DOOLITTLE.

Best Films (many have a 2008 release date, but I saw them in 2009. Don't like it? Lump it.)

10. PONYO-I just had to see a Hayao Miyazaki anime on the big screen and was rewarded handsomely. While PONYO is almost too cute, Miyazaki kept my cynical soul at bay with his brilliant artistic sensibilities.

9.CORALINE-Score one for Portland's Laika Studios. Henry Selick's adaptation of Neil Gaiman's tale ran circles around NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. The bittersweet ending of this victory is that Laika may not be able to follow up, laying off a major chunk of their workforce and the exiting of Selick. Oh well. One's better than none.

8.DISTRICT 9-Neill Blomkamp's Apartheid allegory with aliens in South Africa was the best sci-fi of the year. In a just world, Sharlto Copley would get a Best Actor nod.

7.WATCHMEN-Unfilmable? Probably, but Zack Snyder made a grand stab at Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' classic graphic novel (I know it was a comic book mini-series first. Back off, nerds) and succeeded in a very high percentile.

6.REVOLUTIONARY ROAD-Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet hate suburbia. If you don't believe it from AMERICAN BEAUTY and LITTLE MONSTERS, this one clinches it and was unduly snubbed at the Oscars. A fine film, but you'll want to drink afterwards...a lot.

5.THE WRESTLER-Mickey Rourke was robbed! Let's get a rematch with Sean Penn...this time...Hell in a Cell!

4.INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS-Quentin Tarantino lives to fight another day. It's a bingo!

3. THE HURT LOCKER-Katherine Bigelow finally has something to stand beside her debut masterwork NEAR DARK. Very possibly the most suspenseful film of the decade...and starring former Palace Showboat Player Jeremy Renner. Who knew?

2.UP-The sweetest damn film of this or any other year.

1.SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE-One of the best movie-movies ever. A modern-day fairy tale that has my favorite love story and a parable for the ages.

Why was it the best?

D.It is written.

NEXT:

The Best of the Decade

At the End of the Decade

And so it ends as always with a CNN re-broadcast of the ball falling in Times Square to signal the beginning of the New Year...and in this case, decade as well. What an odd and somewhat pathetic manner in which to chronicle the passage of time, but this is how some of us mark this event in other zones other than Eastern Standard. What better way to end an era than a celebratory rerun. Kind of a bastardization of the space/time continuum, isn't it? No wonder Dick Clark stayed looking so young for so long.

The last ten years began ever so auspiciously at one second past midnight in 2000 with the Y2K boondoggle (AKA The End of the World As We Know It) It should gave us all a big damn clue of how the rest of the decade was going to be. We were at the brink of DOOM...until we weren't. We breathed a big sigh of relief and went about our business, not learning a damn thing about the major disaster that never happened.

By the end of the year came the Endless Presidential Election that signalled the beginning of the next Civil War, the Reds vs the Blues. This battle that keeps escalating day after day turning as the flames of hatred keep getting fanned by a bunch of mental media midgets in the name of higher ratings with zero accountability and Internet snipers with even less credibility or even souls.

The following year came the real Day the Earth Stood Still...9/11. The worst thing that could have happened did and in the most absurd manner possible. The Kamikazes of yesterday had become the airline terrorists of today. Suddenly we came together as one in our grief and in that shock and sorrow came a glimmer of hope that we might just get through this as one. It wasn't meant to be since united we stand, divided we fall and the Powers that Be found that is was easier to keep us in line if we fought amongst ourselves instead the ones who got us there in the first and last places. And if that doesn't do it, they'll make sure they make us live in fear. If they keep us cowered, they can keep us in line.

If that wasn't enough, we went to war...somewhere else. Many of us bought it at the time since we still had vengeance in our hearts and minds. But we got sidetracked. Iraq was a divergence so we missed the sleight of hand trick that became the longest running practical joke in the history of futility and we looked for ways to find the nearest exit until it became as fruitless as trying to get out of a gym membership. Hey, I hear we're finally getting out of there...only to go around the corner to Afghanistan.

Then Mother Nature went on a drunken tirade and sent her nasty ass bitch daughter Katrina to lay waste to a chunk of the country. Just to make matters worse, the aftermath became one of the most shameful events of modern times. 9/11 was an example of what evil forces from the outside could do to our country. Katrina was an example of what evil we could do to ourselves.

The collapse of the economy, global warming and the denial of gay rights...oh, my what an obscene mess the world has become in ten short years. That glimmer of hope many of us hoped for in the guise of a new administration has dimmed to a small burning ember that isn't enough to even light your cigarette, but that's okay since there's no smoking anyway.

For myself, my mother died two months after 9/11, ending a long illness that took her mind and body long before she eventually passed. Some good friends were also lost in those years as well the final decimation of my beloved Pollardville. Two jobs went by the wayside along the way making everyday life even more of a struggle than it is already especially when that goddamn Sword of Damocles keeps waving to and fro, ready to lob over its next innocent victim in a cruel game of chance.

Okay. Enough of a purge already. That was the Worst of the Double-Ohs. Amazingly enough, we have been resilient enough to withstand even the most devastating of times and even manage to prevail in many situations, driving around the potholes in the road and maintain our journeys.

Since this is my damn blog, let's talk about me some more. I have managed to have 5 of my works published in a ten year period, an accomplishment I may not be able to match in volume but still plan to surpass in substance. I appeared on stage twice, once in a local production of ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST and another at the last Pollardville show ever. I've had a life changing trip to South Africa. and I've found a home here in Oregon surrounded by like minded weirdos along with a family that has taught the true meaning of unconditional love for the very first time.

So I end the Double 00s sad about the nature of the world but oddly optimistic about myself. I say oddly because it has never been part of my nature to feel comfortable in my own skin, kind of like an old shoe. Just call me Hush Puppy. Maybe the aging process it having a positive effect on me after all.

Then again, I could be in denial. Now THAT'S comfort!

Next up: The Best of the Decade

Yeah, like you care...

Putting the X in Xmas

Hey, kitty-cats, before we delve into the obligatory "Best of..." lists, one for 2009, the other for the whole furshluggin' decade, let's give a major round of applause to Mr. Grant-Lee Phillips, shall we? His latest album LITTLE MOON was named the Best Singer/Songwriter Album of 2009 by the one and only I-tunes. Congratulations to him, totally fer shur.

Grant-Lee will touring in 2010, appearing here in Portland, Oregon at the Mississippi Studios on Saturday January 23.

First event of the new decade I will looking forward, the second on February 27. What might that be? Stay tuned, you lot.

Just remember the immortal words of Andy Williams who sang:

"It's the most wonderful time of the year!"

Right back at ya, Mr. Williams.

Y'know, with each year that passes, Andy Williams is looking more and more like my dad. Give Andy a George Gobel haircut and you've got my pop. But then again, Adam Cherney would never have been caught dead in Branson, but that's beside the point, isn't it?

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever the F...just Have a Merry and Happy Something.

Peace.

TV Yin and Yang

Been an interesting and rather satisfying few months of TV viewing the past few months (with a few potholes along the way).

Not to be redundant but I had to agree with just about everyone that MAD MEN ended its third season absolutely brilliantly, elevating it to my Top Ten list of Best Series of All Time. This year had a slow roll, but by its final few episodes, picked up light speed by a most satisfying season finale. One of the highlights had to be the deconstruction and damn near crash and burn of Don Draper. The scenes of Don finally coming to terms with his past to his wife Betty were spot on brilliant. Writer/creator Matthew Weiner is a television giant.

Hooray for the reinvention (or rediscovery) of Ted Danson on DAMAGES and especially HBO's BORED TO DEATH. Time for Alec Baldwin to take a backseat for awhile since he's wearing out his welcome. Danson rules the roost.

FX continues its winning streak with SONS OF ANARCHY (THE SOPRANOS on bikes) and the continually bad craziness of NIP/TUCK. As for SONS, I vote Ron Perlman and Katey Sagal as couple of the year.

Speaking of Baldwin, is 30 ROCK the most overrated sitcom on broadcast TV? Truth to be told, I have never been a regular, but for the most part, the only positive reaction I've had watching this show is the occasional smirk. While I give Tina Fey all the credit in the world for putting this show together, I still find her to be a limited comedic actress. And Tracy Morgan is a one trick pony that needs to go to the glue factory. He was one of the worst members of SNL in his time on the show and now hangs on like a cold that won't go away. As for Alec Baldwin, I say again, take a break.

Speaking of overrated, is CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM the most overrated show on cable?

CURB had 2 out of the 12 episodes that I felt were worthy-DENISE HANDICAP and THE BARE MIDRIFF. The others, including the much-hyped SEINFELD reunion seem to coast along on its reputation, like Larry David himself. Most of the time, I feel like he's saying "Eh. That's good enough." Other times, he tries too hard and the strain is really beginning to show. However, I do give he and Michael Richards a round of applause for having balls o'plenty to confront Richards' racist rant a few years back. Overall, my enthusiasm for this show has been curbed to the point of abandoning the vehicle altogether.

On the reality front, I've finally watched TOP CHEF and even though the food is more interesting here, it's really no different than Food Network's NEXT IRON CHEF. (By the way, someone needs to take a swing at Alton Brown) On the other hand, host Padma Lakshmi is the world's most beautiful dullard. My God, what a boring woman...and she was married to Salman Rushdie. Even he got fed up with her dial-tone voice and endless posturing."Please! Put me back on the fatwa! I beg of you! She's boring me to horrors!" Salman probably pleaded. To which I can only add, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ................................

Again, I have to add that most of my viewing habits lay in cable programming with the miracle of on-demand options thrown in for good measure.. While others have some sort of DVR or choose to catch shows on the Internet or renting DVD of shows, how the hell are the networks or broadcast television going to survive? The answer is: They're not. Free TV is going the way of all flesh. This year's mandatory conversion to digital was pretty much the first nail in the coffin.

Next on the hit list: the Nielsen ratings, amercy killing in my book.

Mark my words, o' true believers.

Excelsior!